When the sun set on another Mother’s Day, I thought more about what is important to me and what I am grateful for. My kids are now all adults so gifts are unimportant and somewhat redundant.
Is Mothering itself a gift?
Why do we give gifts on Mother’s day?
I had to question hard the motivation behind this tradition and ask why we continue to give gifts as a social convention, in an affluent society.
Traditions of Mothers Day
A visit to or from family is more and more a tradition on Mothers day.
It has become even more of a social event this year as the lifting of Covid restrictions coincided with weekend of Mother’s Day.
Is the spirit of Mother’s Day encapsulated in a friendly smile or gesture from a family member, friend or neighbour?
It might be one or all of those things, but the most important thing is to feel healthy and content on mind and spirit.
Gifts then, do seem redundant and more of a symbol than a necessary purchase.
Gratitude in 2020
I am blessed that I have had a comfortable life. This is not to say I have not been without quite a bit of heartache, bad luck or troubles in my life and despite these matters, I cannot say that I have not been comfortable, for the most part.
In hindsight, many of my problems are just inconveniences or issues that must be solved, or persevered with, until they sort. I have been lucky, and pushed through until the sadness passed to find resilience and maintain hope.
I have hope.
I have freedom.
I have achieved certain goals and have new challenges ahead that I am enthusiastic about.
I have job satisfaction. I have a job and income, although for how long is never guaranteed, anymore, especially at my age. For that, I am grateful. Work can be a privilege we might take for granted.
I have the bountiful emotional returns of raising children, with all its fatigue, responsibilities and worries, but moreover, the joys and pride of raising three little people on this planet.
I got to travel to some pretty special places and spend times with many different people from all over the world.
I was fortunate to have the opportunity to learn a language other than English.
I was lucky enough to be in a postiion to design a beautiful home and live by the sea.
This was my morning view.
How can one not feel in awe of nature’s magnificence?
I have a home and family.
And this is the place where I chose to spend this year’s Mother’s Day and the rest of my life.
A Home by the Sea 
To be a mother is special. Thanks for telling about what you have achieved. Home is where your 💓 is.
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I agree Ineke. It is special to each person. A relationship like no other kind. Mothering can take different forms, as we know. We can be Mothers to our pets, even some of our friends in some instances.
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True, and there as so many younger people who need a mother in their lives.
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That is right, Ineke. So many kids do not the feeling of a Mother’s love. The world expects all Mothers will be benevolent, but sadly, it just isn’t the case. It seems more important and expected these days. In previous generations, many children did not know their parents and it was less important than it is now. Even though young people can be difficult, it is when they are poorly behavioured that they need unconditional love more than ever. Boundaries are important too, otherwise some children appear to interpret a laissez faire parental attitude as one of uncaring).
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True and so so sad. Children can’t help it if they don’t know how to act or react in life.
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One good role model makes all the difference. That is where teachers can be so important.
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That’s why teacher need to know how to handle each child too.
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Yes. Absolutely.
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Have a nice Mother’s Day Amanda!!!
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Thank you so much!
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You have wonderful blessings. Gifts are not important at our house either—except for the gift of time.
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Beautiful post, Amanda. Great sunset shot. Mother’s day is always interesting. This year quiet and just my daughter and I staying in. I think the work we put in allows for some appreciation. Of course now I do things to show my daughter my appreciation for helping me through my last golden years. I always tell my children how blessed I was to have them as my own children and that all my friends were envious. My daughter gave me a little sign one year that says, ‘You are the mother all my friends wish they had’. We had some tough times in the early years and she always says how grateful she is for me. When they look around in later years. they see things more clearly. My son spoils me everyday he can. He looks at his friends mother’s and says he hit the jackpot. It’s a mutual admiration society. Like you, I live in Gratitude. The gifts are just their way of spoiling us a little. I prefer going to lunch with them and having their full attention. Here’s hoping that things open up safely again soon. I think we are in phase one. My daughter says I’m going nowhere yet. 😉 They aren’t done being stupid out there. ;( Have a lovely week ahead.
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It is a sign of how successful you have been as a parent to have children who clearly adore you and appreciate the time you have with them. The parenthood road isn’t always perfect but no one can really replace a Mother. It is that intangible connection that we feel. Even when we don’t have a perfect relationship with our own Mothers.
Enjoy your moments with your children. It is clear you both get so much from those experiences and they will build fond memories for your kids.
Stay home and safe. Picnic in the yard if you need to, put on music and pretend you are at a cafe. Lol!
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There’s no tougher job than being a mother. I realized this early with my first child after the first week of zero sleep & 24×7 caring and feeding of a newborn. It got easier but no less tougher a job. The flip side is that there is nothing more rewarding than being a mother. While I’ve accomplished things professionally, I remember precious few of those. I remember much more of my kids growing up. This is the real gift.
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I think you are right, Sandy. Interactions with others are more often remembered better than everyday work achievements. The mother -child relationship is such a special bond and when I daydream, I often think of the moments when my children were growing up. The fun moments and a few difficult ones, but the difficult ones fade more easily in my memory, whilst the beautiful and fun memories persist. The memories with laughter are the most persistent ones.
Those without children might get more sleep and less heartache but also less rewards. For those folk, I feel their mothering experience might come to them in other forms: relationships with pets, elderly relatives, friends, companions or community.
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